Issue #257: Are You an Illuminator or a Diminisher?
Good morning. It’s Thursday, October 26th.
Today’s Quick Win
From the Lab: Are You an Illuminator or a Diminisher?
Speed Read: Just Run a Little Bit
Thursday Night In: Superfood Bowl
“People want to connect. Above almost any other need, human beings long to have another person look into their faces with love and acceptance.”
The number of conversations we have on an average day (Inc.com). This number is highly variable based on age, job, location and more - especially since the pandemic. But think about it for you - family, ordering coffee, colleagues, parents at kids softball practice, at the gym - it adds up pretty quickly. Are you making the most of these opportunities?
From the Lab
I got in my fifth Uber in the last 24 hours - I noticed a car seat in the trunk of the SUV and asked the driver if she had kids or if that was just a way to offer rides to families.
She said she had a 2-yr old daughter. I told her that I was amazed at how clean her backseat was with a kid (if only my car always looked like that).
Maria and I proceeded to talk for the entire 15 min ride to my Board meeting. She is a single mom from Colombia working two jobs - trying to make ends meet and be a great parent.
She could have easily complained about her life - fixated on her challenges. Instead, she was an absolute ray of sunshine. She asked me so many questions - nothing about what I did for a living. She asked about my kids, my wife, what I loved to do, where I’ve traveled.
Now I’m not one that typically holds a conversation with an Uber driver for the entire ride, but wow - it was amazing how good I felt and the positive energy I had walking into my meeting. All from a brief encounter with a stranger.
Maria was what David Brooks calls an “Illuminator” - people with persistent curiosity about other people who are an absolute joy to be around. They make the rest of us feel bigger, respected - basically better about ourselves.
On the other side are “Diminishers” - they make the rest of us feel insignificant. They don’t ask questions, but instead make assumptions and are focused inward on themselves.
Reading that previous paragraph it’s easy to then judge these people - but sometimes we’re those people. We disengage. We focus on our phone and don’t pay attention to who’s around us. It’s not that we’re being evil or vindictive - we’re just trying to get through our own life.
Again, Brooks calls this out - we’re focused on efficiency (what we have to get done), and not what he names “accompaniment.”
90% of life is picking up our kids, sending emails, ordering lunch - daily tasks. We can choose to “get through” these tasks OR we can take the time to engage with people in those tasks.
Like a background musician that supports the lead singer - we can highlight others while doing these tasks.
I’m not great at this - I live in a world focused on efficiency. But to what end?
I can say without hesitation that my energy, my mindset, my joy in life were all higher from Maria - but this absolutely wasn’t the case after my other, mostly silent, Uber rides this week.
Some tips to be more of an Illuminator:
Be curious - ask questions, in fact ask 1 more question than seems normal (one of our Core Values).
Listen - pay attention to their answers and don’t be “a topper.” Things like = “You think you’re busy with work - let me tell you about…” It’s about them, not you.
Repeat the answer back - just like if you want to remember someone’s name when you meet them, you say it out loud - do the same here. You’ll earn respect and actually remember it.
This doesn’t come easy for me and you can’t be inauthentic when doing this - but I truly think it’s something worth improving so it becomes more natural.
If we aren’t connecting with our community and making the most of those everyday encounters we’re missing out on a huge part of a great life.
Thrive25 Partner Spotlight
Backed by the latest research, Impossible products are designed for elite athletes and high performers.
Don't just optimize your health. Optimize your life. Get off the couch, make your impossible list and then get to work making it happen. Impossible is built for action. Go make it happen.
Click HERE and use code THR25 for 20% off your next order!
Speed Read
Health & Longevity in the News
Meta Knows It’s Addictive: So much so that 41 states have engaged in various lawsuits against Meta because it “designed psychologically manipulative product features to induce young users’ compulsive and extended use” of platforms like Instagram. We’ve covered this before - our brains aren’t fully developed until 25. Meta has chosen profit over health, especially for those most vulnerable. (GeekWire)
The Value of Short Distance Running: Multiple studies have now shown that the greatest benefit to mortality from running is 1-2hr per week (10-15 min/day) at a 10:00 mile pace. You can run farther/longer/faster, but the net mortality benefit decreases. This makes sense because…math. What’s surprising is how little we have to do - get out there! (NYTimes)
A Healthy Gut: An international team of researchers have spent years studying the roughly 1,000 different bacterial species of the gut microbiome. What they’ve found is species rely on each other to produce by sharing nutrients. The team has also mapped how these species interact and they collectively affect the entire body - a precursor to better treatment for Crohn’s, IBS, and other gut-related diseases. (Source)
Thursday Night In | Superfood Bowl
Indulge in a Superfood Bowl loaded with flavors and textures, blending quinoa, lentils, and an array of seeds, offering a surge of prebiotic fiber, phytonutrients, and plant-based proteins. Featuring immune-boosting garlic, mushrooms, and kale, this vibrant meal is a powerhouse for nourishment and energy.
Thanks for joining us today!
Check out the latest workout videos on our YouTube channel
Got feedback, recommendations or stories to share? Tell us what’s on your mind here
Want this direct to your inbox? Sign up here
Why Thrive25
We’re 40-something dads that felt our bodies and minds start to slow down and we’re not ready for that. We found too much information on every subject. So we started Thrive25 to transform what we’ve learned into something useful for the rest of us to spend just 3-5 min a day to optimize our health & longevity.
This newsletter is for you and we truly value your feedback. Never hesitate to reach out to us at team@thrive25.com.
To health!
Sign up for free:
The information in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and may not be appropriate or applicable based on your individual circumstances. Thrive25 Labs LLC does not provide medical, professional, or licensed advice. Please connect with your healthcare professional for medical advice specific to your health needs.