Issue #431: Do You Talk to Yourself?
Good morning. It’s Friday, February 21st.
In today’s email:
Focus: Life In Our Own Head
Watch: Do You Talk to Yourself?
In the News: Pending Ski Trip
Brain Games: Calcudoku
Stat of the Day
The percentage of time we spend thinking about ourselves. (From How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie).
Focus
Life In Our Own Head
Half of our life is lived inside our head.
It’s true. Most of the time, we aren’t thinking about what’s physically in front of us at that moment - but something else entirely.
I’ll be at dinner with the family thinking about what I have to do when I get back online after the kids get to sleep.
I’ll be talking to Max about strategy, but my mind drifts off and starts replaying what we could have done better in that investor call this morning.
Now there might be an initial stimulus that affects how we feel - a fight with your partner, your kids not listening to you - but it’s the story we tell ourselves, not the actual event that determines what happens next.
I was talking to a former colleague who was just going crazy about the inept management at his current company. He was so fired up that it wasn’t possible for him to get a raise and a promotion right now.
I could literally feel his venom and frustration through the Zoom video.
Then I stopped and asked him - give me the specifics of how your life will be different right now if you get the promotion (Sr. Director vs. Director) and raise ($5-10K) or if you don’t.
Now don’t get me wrong - that’s real money. That could be used for a big home renovation project or maybe a real awesome vacation.
But that potential upside was nothing compared to the stress he was putting on himself, and the negative impact it was having on him right now.
He was crushing his mental and physical health around something he couldn’t control (he can always look for a new job if it’s that bad) and really - in the grand scheme of things for our time on this earth - doesn’t really matter.
Now I’m not suggesting we all put our hands up and give up. Lack of ambition and lack of caring isn’t the answer.
You can still go all out for that promotion - and do it without the inner stress that hijacks your mind.
Create Distance
When I’m advising other startup founders, I almost always see the problem and potential solutions before they do. It’s not because I’m smarter - it’s because I’m NOT immersed in the situation so deep that I can’t see straight.
It’s always easier to see the full field from the sidelines - it’s why coaches exist.
I make the same mistakes as everyone else when it comes to Thrive25 - because that’s when I’m in the weeds myself.
I often wish I could clone myself to be both the founder and the coach.
Since that’s not available (yet?), the next best thing is to create that distance and take yourself out of the situation for a break.
This break is what allows our brain to regain control of those fierce emotions controlling our thoughts.
The easiest hack is to use your own breath - maybe 5 breaths, maybe 10 minutes of breathwork.
But it can be any positive distraction - go for a run or workout, play with your kids, cook dinner.
Do something you enjoy and can shift your emotions so that you create space to give your brain a chance to get back in control.
Then when you come back to it - you’re better equipped to put the situation in perspective and deal with it more honestly.
See the Big Picture
Most of life is just BS. We create so much stress for our day-to-day and lose sight of how to actually make the most of the day, week, year.
There is nothing more important than your attention. All the trillion dollar companies out there - Meta, Amazon, Alphabet (Google) - make money from your time, your eyeballs.
And when we’re not being distracted by them, we’re at work in the economy we created to get paid for our time (including some form of output).
What’s left is very little time to enjoy the real stuff that matters - time with our kids, dinner with our partner, going for an evening walk, doing something you actually love.
Give your attention to what’s most important to you - do your best to get out of our head and live in the moment.
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Watch
Do You Talk to Yourself?
Check out this video from Ethan Kross - author of “Chatter”.
He has a new book that just launched in January called “Shift: Managing Your Emotions - So They Don’t Manage You.”
Here’s a quick TED Talk where he gives tips to quiet your inner voice to help transform your wellbeing:
H&L in the News
Stronger Feet, Better Performance: A 12-minute foot workout can improve stability, prevent injuries, and boost your walking and running power. Try these five simple exercises to build strength where it matters most! (NYTimes) Check out our week on feet, issues #357-359.
Finance Bros Go Big: Forget Botox - elite professionals are dropping big money on penis fillers for size, confidence, and status. With demand booming, experts warn of botched jobs and rising revision cases. (Business Insider)
Redefine Wealth, Own Your Life: Wealth isn’t just money - it’s time, health, relationships, and purpose. Learn how to embrace the right kind of wealth for your season of life and build a truly fulfilling future. (Big Think)
Brain Games
Calcudoku
The objective is to fill in the grid with the correct digit in each cell, between 1 and 4:
Each row contains exactly one of each digit
Each column contains exactly one of each digit
Each bold-outlined group (with same color) must equate the result with the numerical operation - addition (+), subtraction (-), multiplication (*) and division (/)
Try to solve this in under a minute. Ready…set…go!
Credit: Brainzilla
**For answer, scroll to the bottom of the post
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Thanks for another great week!
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** Brain Games Answer **
Why Thrive25
We’re 40-something dads that felt our bodies and minds start to slow down and we’re not ready for that. We found too much information on every subject. So we started Thrive25 to transform what we’ve learned into something useful for the rest of us to spend just 3-5 min a day to optimize our health & longevity.
This newsletter is for you and we truly value your feedback. Never hesitate to reach out to us at team@thrive25.com.
To health!
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The information in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and may not be appropriate or applicable based on your individual circumstances. Thrive25, Inc. does not provide medical, professional, or licensed advice. Please connect with your healthcare professional for medical advice specific to your health needs.